It’s Maggie, sucking on her red pacifier and crawling her way across the grass to the Sun City Peachtree bench!  The Simpson family is now complete.

The one-year-old baby of the family can walk (sort of), but she keeps tripping over her onesie and falling on her face.

Maggie hasn’t yet learned to talk in complete sentences just yet, because she is, after all, only one year old.   She is known, however, for the sucking noise she makes with her pacifier (which are actually made by the show’s creator, Matt Groening!).

Although Maggie was more of a momma’s girl at the beginning of The Simpsons long-running series, she eventually became fiercely independent.  One time, she planned a Great Escape-style breakout from a daycare center to get all the babies’ pacifiers back, which were being held under lock and key.  (You go, girl!)

One time, when Homer tried to bond with Maggie, she tried to run away.  She loves her dad, though, because she once dragged Homer back to the shore when he got caught in a riptide.  SUPER-BABY! 

Another time, baby Maggie wasn’t as super to Homer.  When he was immobilized as a result of wearing a body cast, she spun him around like a bottle and took great joy in the endeavor!  On another occasion, she hit Homer on the head with a mallet.  Then, there was the time she shot a suction dart at his picture. There are plenty more examples of Maggie’s mean streak; so, it’s a good thing she has never grown up past a one-year-old, because she may end up in prison!

Maggie does have some positive traits, though.  Like her older sister Lisa, she is brilliant and plays saxophone—amazing for a one-year-old!  She is also quite mentally and physically agile for her age.  One time, Maggie crawled over town looking for her mom.  She also knows how to read and has tried communicating to Homer using her baby blocks.  (Unfortunately, the tot’s attempt failed, because Homer doesn’t know how to read.)

Albert Einstein would have been proud of the precocious baby, because she once spelled out E=MC2 (squared) with her blocks.

Maggie can also change her own diapers, drive her dad’s car, and use a fire extinguisher, which was once needed to extinguish burning curtains.  The toddler is a heck of an athlete, too!  She can skateboard and once bowled a perfect game!  That’s a lot of talent for a toddler!


As soon as I heard that baritone saxophone, I knew it had to be Lisa Simpson joining Bart, Marge, and Homer over at the neighborhood bench.  Lisa may only be eight years old, but she can play a mean sax!  She is also good on electric bass and piano.  In addition, she has played some trumpet, accordion, violin, tuba, french horn, and has a powerful singing voice. 

It’s Lisa’s love of jazz that makes her my favorite of the Simpsons, because it’s a passion we share; however, we have some values in common as well.  We definitely lean the same way politically (liberal), and she is a big believer in science.  Although I am not a vegetarian like Lisa (I love seafood), her ethical beliefs are quite admirable—especially for a second-grader!  Lisa is a member of PETA and is also big on women’s rights.  She is also concerned with world affairs; and, in the 1990’s, she had an “End Apartheid” poster in her bedroom.  Good on her!

Lisa is a lot more intelligent and innovative than I ever was in the second grade (or ever), though.  As matter of fact, she has a genius IQ and is a member of Mensa in her town of Springfield.  (Thankfully, she got her smarts from her grandmother rather than Homer!)  Between her intelligence and musical talent, she is quite the child prodigy!  After all, how many infants do you know that can change their own diapers and solve mathematical equations as an infant?

Another thing Lisa is really good at (and I am not) is foreign language.  That girl can speak Italian fluently, and she also knows a bit of French, German, and Spanish.

When it comes to her home life, Lisa has a difficult relationship with her dad and brother—something I could relate to when looking back on my childhood!  She fights with her older brother just like I did when I was her age.  Lisa and Bart really go at it!  Still, though, her very first word was, “Bart!”  (Interestingly, the third thing she ever said was, “David Hasselhoff.”)

Lisa is fashionable, usually wearing her a short, strapless red dress with a zigzag hem, matching red Mary-Jane shoes, and a white pearl necklace that was given to her by her mom, Marge.  (When I was in the second grade, I HATED wearing dresses, and was known to pair a checkered shirt with striped pants, when I dressed myself.)

These are a few of my favorite quotes by Lisa Simpson:

“Dad!  The Second Amendment is just a remnant from the Revolutionary day.  It has no meaning today.”  (Amen to that.)

“Don’t you think we ought to attack the roots of our social problems instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons?”

“I just think it’s a fantasy.  If you believe in angels, why not sea monsters, unicorns, or leprechauns?”

This nearly completes The Simpsons family.  Will Bart and Lisa’s baby sister be next?  Stay tuned to see if Maggie crawls her way to the bench!


Bart Simpson cruised over on his skateboard, this morning, to join his parents on the Sun City Peachtree bench.  “Ay, Caramba!” he exclaimed, when he saw Marge and Homer kissing and holding hands.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, Bart is Marge and Homer’s mischevious and rebellious son and older brother to Lisa and Maggie.  He is best known for constantly getting into trouble.  The Simpsons creator, Matt Groenig, must have been a trouble-maker himself, because Bart’s character is loosely based on him and his brother, Mark.

Before he even entered the world, Bart was making trouble.  When Marge was pregnant with Bart and had a sonogram, the not-yet-born baby mooned Dr. Hibbert!

Two years later, when Lisa was born, Bart got jealous of all the attention Lisa was getting, so he tried to draw attention to himself.  Bart couldn’t take it anymore, so he told Lisa he was going to run away.  Then, Lisa said her first word, “Bart!”  Bart heard Lisa and realized how much she loved him, so he decided he had to stay. 

Bart has ADHD and can be a terror at school.  His school grades fluctuate between a “D” and an “F”, because he does’t pay attention.  Bart is actually quite good at science, though, and he has street smarts.  When it comes to anything NOT school-related, he can be quite ingengious and a quick learner.

Unfortunately, though, Bart has a criminal record including indecent exposure, arson, assault with a deadly weapon, burglary, underage drinking, vandalism, grand theft auto, and much more.  The list is long, much to Homer’s chagrin.

You can imagine what Homer thinks of all that trouble Bart gets into. Those two really go at it!  Marge is much more caring, understanding, and nurturing, even though she calls Bart “a handful” and is often embarrased by his antics.

When Bart’s not getting into mischevious, he is actually quite accomplished.  Not only does he perform as a drummer in a successful band and speak several languages, but he also won an award for his Angry Dad web series.  He even discovered a new comet that was named after him!  Bart is also quite the athlete, artist, and chef.

Although Bart gets into a lot of (serious!) trouble and can be shallow and selfish, he also exhibits many qualities of high integrity.  On a few occasions, Bart helped the love life of his school principal and his teacher, despite the fact he often terrorizes them.  He also befriends lesser known kids like Millhouse at the cost of peer popularity with the bullies.  The kid would also do anything for his favorite Krusty the Clown.  In one Season 4 episode, he exclaimed, “That’s not fair!  I’m ten times the Krusty fan you are.  I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!”

Bart is an animal lover and becomes extremely attached to animals that fall under his care.  His dog, named Santa’s Little Helper is his best friend.

The girls seem to like Bart, too, as he has had 16 girlfriends throughout the 32 seasons of The Simpsons, even though he believes that girls have “cooties.”

When it comes to Bart’s gift of gab, not only can he attract the girls, but he also has a keen ability to manipulate and extort. 

On a lighter note, here are some of his his quotes:

“I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?”

“Don’t have a cow, Man!”

“Eat my shorts!”

“I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”

“But who’d want to hurt me?  I’m this century’s Dennis the Menace!”

To his little sister, Lisa:  “You got the brains and talent to go as far as you want, and when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.”


“D’oh!” exclaimed Homer Simpson, as he tripped over Marge to rest on the Sun City Peachtree bench.  In her squeaky voice, Marge cried out, “Homer?!”

Ahhh, yes, The Simpsons.  Just looking at them (the blue hair!) just makes you laugh!  Homer, Marge, and the rest of the Simpson characters have made television audiences laugh for the past 32 years on their own animated show on FOX—the longest-running prime-time sitcom in the US.  That’s following the cartoons debut as 60-second animated bumpers for The Tracey Ullman Show.  After two years, the shorts were expanded into a full-length 30-minute television spin-off by 20th Century Fox.

The irony of it is that The Simpsons has lasted this long on FOX, considering how conservative and right-wing the network’s owners and news programs have been over the years.  Watch one episode, and you’ll see what I mean.  The Simpsons isn’t just a kids’ cartoon.  This show has wickedly funny adult humor that is often political and blatantly knocks its own network.  Good on Matt Groenig, the creator of the series, and all of the writers over the years who haven’t held back from speaking truth.  One of those writers was Conan O’Brien, the comedian who just retired as talk show host of his late-night TV talk show.

The script writing of The Simpsons is the lure that hooks the most famous of celebrities to put voice to their animated selves or another character as guests on the show.  Several even wrote their own parts or an entire episode.  Ricky Gervais wrote the episode “Homer Simpson, This is Your Wife,” for example.  Actor Dustin Hoffman was credited as “Sam Etic” for the episode “Lisa’s Substitute.”

Other guest stars include Marcia Wallace (176 times!), Kirk Douglas, Michael Jackson, Kelsey Grammer, Phil Hartman (52 episodes), James Earl Jones, Glen Close, Donald Sutherland, Anne Hathaway, Peton Manning, Eli Manning, Danika Patrick, and many, many more.  As a matter of fact, the show was awarded the Guinness World Book of Records for “Most Guest Stars Featured in a TV Series.”  That was back in 2010, but as of May 23, 2020, there have been 905 guest stars on the show.

For those of you who have never watched The Simpsons, here’s the scoop:  The show is a satire of a dysfunctional but loving working-class family who live in the fictional town of Springfield.  Homer and Marge have three children:  Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.  The series lampoons many aspects of American culture, society, politics, and history. 

To put it bluntly, Homer is a buffoon.  He works as a safety director at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, except he is anything but safe!  Careless would describe him more accurately.  His wife, Marge, is a stereotypical American housewife.  Bart is a ten-year-old troublemaker, Lisa is precocious eight-year-old activist who plays a mean saxophone, and Maggie is a pacifier-sucking baby.

Although the series has been running for 32 years with 32 Christmas and other holiday celebrations, the characters are frozen in time, staying at the same ages they were in the first episode.

The best part about the show is the always-changing opening sequence, which has been a running joke of the series.  Prior to the shows transition to HD format, the three changing elements are a chalkboard gag, Lisa’s (awesome!) saxophone solo, and a couch gag.  The first one features Bart writing a different sentence repeatedly on a chalkboard at Springfield Elementary, and it ends with the family sitting on the living room couch accompanied by a visual joke.  In one episode the couch turned into a giant octopus and ate the entire family!  The HD format episodes also include many recurring characters and a billboard gag, which changes each episode.

Just to give you an idea of Homer’s character, the following are some of his quotes:

“To alcohol!  The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

“Facts are meaningless.  You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”  (Fox News and Tucker Carlson have taken that to heart…)

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires!  We could buy all kinds of useful things like… love!”

“If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”

“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.  The lesson is, never try.”

“All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.”

You gotta love that one!