It’s Maggie, sucking on her red pacifier and crawling her way across the grass to the Sun City Peachtree bench! The Simpson family is now complete.
The one-year-old baby of the family can walk (sort of), but she keeps tripping over her onesie and falling on her face.
Maggie hasn’t yet learned to talk in complete sentences just yet, because she is, after all, only one year old. She is known, however, for the sucking noise she makes with her pacifier (which are actually made by the show’s creator, Matt Groening!).
Although Maggie was more of a momma’s girl at the beginning of The Simpsons long-running series, she eventually became fiercely independent. One time, she planned a Great Escape-style breakout from a daycare center to get all the babies’ pacifiers back, which were being held under lock and key. (You go, girl!)
One time, when Homer tried to bond with Maggie, she tried to run away. She loves her dad, though, because she once dragged Homer back to the shore when he got caught in a riptide. SUPER-BABY!
Another time, baby Maggie wasn’t as super to Homer. When he was immobilized as a result of wearing a body cast, she spun him around like a bottle and took great joy in the endeavor! On another occasion, she hit Homer on the head with a mallet. Then, there was the time she shot a suction dart at his picture. There are plenty more examples of Maggie’s mean streak; so, it’s a good thing she has never grown up past a one-year-old, because she may end up in prison!
Maggie does have some positive traits, though. Like her older sister Lisa, she is brilliant and plays saxophone—amazing for a one-year-old! She is also quite mentally and physically agile for her age. One time, Maggie crawled over town looking for her mom. She also knows how to read and has tried communicating to Homer using her baby blocks. (Unfortunately, the tot’s attempt failed, because Homer doesn’t know how to read.)
Albert Einstein would have been proud of the precocious baby, because she once spelled out E=MC2 (squared) with her blocks.
Maggie can also change her own diapers, drive her dad’s car, and use a fire extinguisher, which was once needed to extinguish burning curtains. The toddler is a heck of an athlete, too! She can skateboard and once bowled a perfect game! That’s a lot of talent for a toddler!
This is hilarious, Elaine! Love the history you include in your blog!
Thanks, Toni! I’m glad you got a kick out of it!